I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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