You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
