I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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