I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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