There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
