Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
