I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
