I think my vagina is haunted
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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