shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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