I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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