Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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