Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
