she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
