Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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