it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
