i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
