So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
