so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I want to fling myself into the sun
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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