some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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