How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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