i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
