you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
