Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
