Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
