he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
