I don't think brook has ever known best
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Randomize
