Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
