I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
