Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
