And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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