It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
