your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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