She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
