'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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