She's JV to your varsity
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
my being single is dangerous.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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