Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
