One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
