last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
