Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
