Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
