OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
