Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
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we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
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I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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