Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
