As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
