Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
