I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
