I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
