i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
