dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
time to smoke my breakfast
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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