he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
