I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
