I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
