I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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