I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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