I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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