im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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