Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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