My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
