He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
