So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
