I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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