I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
