Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize