I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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