Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
