if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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