Quick, to the slutcave!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
