Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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