You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
someone threw a dead crab at me
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
