it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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